It’s happened to you and you’ve done it.
You start dating someone and you disappear to all your friends. Or your friend disappears. You either give them shit or don’t give a shit and take it in stride. It’s nothing personal, after all. Much of this disappearance can be attributed to The Honeymoon Period. Then when that phase wears off, you begin to see your friend again. This is either because: 1- the relationship isn’t going to work and friend misses what they had or 2- the relationship has become comfortable enough to the point where nights spent separately are ok. We all hope for the latter.
When you’re on the outside and looking in at this situation, it can be frustrating. Friends who are single and form a tight group tend to feel quite invincible and are oblivious to the changes occurring in each others lives. Not until something or someone takes a friend away do we raise our pitchforks and demand someone be burned at the stake.
But when you’re in this situation, it’s fucking blissful. Suddenly there is someone new in your life and they enjoy your attention and return it. You want to spend as much free time with them as possible and everything else goes on the back-burner. You look forward to the weekend when you both don’t work and can sleep in together. And so on.
I’m certainly guilty of these two positions. I’ve turned my back on friends only to come running back when shit fell apart. And my friends never rubbed it in my face. No “I told you so“‘s.
And I’ve had friends suddenly return to my life. When nothing would please me more to say, “Where the fuck have you been?”, I instead opted to get some beers and find a curb to sit on.
And that’s what friends are for.
So if you suddenly find yourself down a close friend who always seemed to be there, be happy for them. Support them in their decisions. Be happy that they are happy.
And if you suddenly find yourself caught up in a new lover’s smells and idiosyncrasies, try and remember the friends that were always just there. They may give you shit but that’s just because they love having you around.
I heard geese tonight and saw a shoot star and thought about all of this. Feeling quite content these days.
Yes, holy shit yes.
